The Power of One

Much has happened since I last wrote anything of substance, and I am still struggling to make sense of some of it. Sometimes we do not express what is in our heart as we do not know what to say.

I did travel to Nepal in late October last year with the intent of visiting Everest Base Camp, a lifelong desire, but through collusion of circumstances I was prevented from achieving this, and fell ill with altitude sickness and three simultaneous viral infections, including likely influenza. As a result, I was ill for some time after returning to Australia, and developed post-viral fatigue, which still lingers and hinders my activities some months later. I still do not know when I can expect to make a full recovery but feel that things are gradually heading in that direction. I still try to do as much as I can, but some days pay a heavy price for this.

Prior to travelling to Nepal I attended a series of meditation workshops presented by the Sri Chimoy Centre (www.srichimoycentre.org/au, http://au.srichinmoycentre.org/, http://www.melbournemeditation.org/). These were sensitively and thoughtfully presented, but my participation was cut short due to my trip. There is ample scientific proof of the benefits of meditation, but like all disciplines it requires commitment; something which I have not been able to provide. I find it ‘hard going’ as at present I have too much of a ‘monkey mind’ and too many intrusive thoughts. I wish that I were better at it, but of course that would only come with time and effort!

I have been able to resume my tutoring at Melbourne University Medical School, which is both challenging and enjoyable. I am also looking into various other options for part-time work in a mixture of clinical and educational areas. The legal case against my ex-business partner (for which I have suspended my full-time medical career for two years now) has failed to make any progress over the past twelve months, and indeed I have not even heard from my own lawyers since November last year. I have concerns about both the level and method of representation and their commitment to my cause.

I feel scarred by my experience last year serving as a member of a national ski patrol committee (due to the intensity of commitment and the level of bullying and harassment), and in common with 'aversion therapy', in truth do not know if I will be able to return to ski patrolling. This (in part) led me to withdraw from attendance at the FIPS Congress in France this year as an Australian ski patrol delegate.

Those of you who have seen the movie "Excalibur" or the final instalment of "The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King" will recall quotes about how the age of magic has come to an end and the age of men has overtaken it. This is how it feels - that the time of those who fought for a better way is over and that we have not won. Furthermore, we are redundant and have no place in the future. We are like ghosts in the machine, but I have no desire for haunting.

However, I haven't lost my interest in undertaking some overseas research to benchmark best practice in pre-hospital care in alpine areas, but unsuccessfully applied this year to both the Churchill Fellowship and the Emergency Services Foundation Scholarship fund for a scholarship to conduct research in Scandinavia.

Having relocated from the country to fight the court case, I have been enjoying singing with my church choir on a regular basis, and enjoyed attending the ACCET Conducting Summer School in January (www.choralconductors.org.au). There are many studies to suggest that choral singing is good both for the soul and the immune system! We recently had a gruelling full-day rehearsal in preparation for Easter, but will be singing a lot of wonderful music.

ACCET Melbourne participants - January 2012

'Continuing Professional Development' is an ongoing part of life as a doctor, and out of the courses I have attended so far this year I can highly recommend:

• Paediatric Advanced Life Support (Critical Care Education Services: www.criticalcare.edu.au)
• St Vincent's Hospital Melbourne Annual Department of Anaesthesia Workshop
• Monash Disaster Resilience Initiative Forum - Learning lessons from recent disaster reviews (Monash Injury Research Institute: www.monash.edu.au/miri/research/research-areas/disaster-resilience/monash-disaster-resilience.html)
• The Australia Doctor Mental Health Seminar (http://www.australiandoctor.com.au/events) 

I am still trying to spend some time (with varying success) on improving my Swedish language skills to work towards eventually taking the TISUS test required for work purposes. I suppose it is still a dream to spend some time working as a doctor in Scandinavia (Norway or Sweden), but the pragmatist in me realizes that it is rather a ‘long shot’ to achieve this in practice. However, I will not entirely give up hope just yet!